An individual may ponder over the meaning of existence. Is there a set purpose in our lives? Is there a destiny we are day by day fulfilling or is there perhaps, no purpose at all. Is there only us, in a universe that rushes on, giving us such a bitter sweet and such a short time to do what we wish. I have pondered upon such ideas much this year, trying to find what I feel is true and what it is that my life means. Through these meditations I have discovered that I could never let myself live a life devoid of purpose. I am drawn to the idea of making a difference in people’s lives and to making changes that will contribute to the evolution of humanity. Realizing the insignificance of the individual existence makes one yearn to give something special to the world, something that will not be forgotten and will be remembered with a smile.

Exceptionally good movies

Chronicles of Narnia

Munich

King Kong

Very Entertaining!

Woah, I never write here any more. Ah well.

I haven’t posted in such a long time. I am very content right now, nothing too exciting ever happens, nothing too distressing, my work is fun, my play is fun, I am doing well.

Nutcracker is quickly approaching. Two days and we are in the theater. We won't be getting out until break, which is exciting for I love the theater, but also a bit worrisome since any physical ailments I have will have no time to recuperate. From here on in it is a mad dash to the finish line and we all vaguely pray that we will get there intact.

I am writing a paper about Florence Baker, the wife of the great Sir Samuel Baker. She was the most amazing women. She was born in Transylvania, was attacked by Hungarian Rebels, lived with an army and was sold into a harem in the Ottoman Empire by the age of 5. She was kidnapped by Samuel Baker when she was 16 as he thought selling a girl of fair skin was atrocious. They went off to Africa together to find the source of the Nile and had the most fascinating adventures! What a fabulous life! I am reading her biography and it is great fun.

I am ready for Christmas. I have wrapped all my gifts in unusual and exciting ways and I cannot wait to get home and see Amelia. Only a week and a half from now. Wow!

Happy Holidays!

Metal looks upon the sand,
and condemns there,
the sin for which
the metal doth tarnish.
When did this become less than sin?
When did you speak, or did you speak at all?
We all hoped we heard you,
and found you among our broken souls.
We graced these fragments
with the dust of our belief,
found exultation,
release from our fate.
Sand swirled,
and we clasped our hands
and forced it down
with open mouths and sharpened piety.
We found between our teeth,
nothing but the whole of our souls
and swallowed our humanity,
with the sand.

Mostly Martha.

Remember that. German. Food. How delightful!

I can't wait until Christmas!!!!

LA la al al !!!!

It is odd when shadows from the past arise and say hello. Easy to forget, but so much easier to remember. I look back and it is black and sticky. Like a sick dream. Some people just can't get out from under all that black, sticky stuff and they try to pull you back in. How dare they? It is so easy to just brush it off and look ahead. Thank goodness I am free.

I'm glad I have no friends who are witches.

Korean soundtracks are the most amazing!!!

I love to dance. I think I may finally be figuring out how to let go.

I think I am.

I love my independence, my ability to get anything done, my collected and calm self. My strong resolve and the way my interesting little brain ticks away, processing at the speed of light. I am smart. I am mature.

I am lonely.

Why won't he just leave me alone.

It is my last day as a sixteen year old. I am glad to be leaving another year of my life in the past. I am ready to take on a new one. I am more than ready, I am excited. I am at a very calm and lovely spot right now. I feel in control and able to take on the next journey. Life is beautiful.

Thank you Sunny and Esther. You are such true friends.

I love you mum truly and forever and ever

I miss you Amelia, Malcolm and Colleen. Remember when we used to play in the fort created by the bushes in our back yard. Remember how we made fairy soup and how we took the giggle talk club so seriously. Remember when the cherry tree was cut down. Remember the wigwam daddy built us. Remember how you Malcolm, would pluck the heads of dandelions with your little fingers while wearing your little blue hat. Remember how you Amelia, would read to us those magnificent stories that I will never forget. Remember Colleen, how you would put those red tights on your head and become the joker that never failed to make me laugh. I am forever in love with my childhood. The memory of those days fills me with such gratitude and such a desire to live well.

Live is Beautiful

Sugar Plum: Nicole and Mary. Mary?

Snow: Allie and Laura

Dewdrop: Breegan and Skye

Arabian: Esther. Go Girl!!!!

Spanish: Solos for Kristi and Fana

Elisa is Mariliton with three other girls. How did that happen.

I am a flower in Waltz. Yay. And guess what else. The rat king. Hah! That will be fun.

Ohh. Got to go to class!

Love you all!!!!!!!

Illustrators are amazing!!!! Gibson and Leyendecker! Wow! What amazing artists! They make me ever so happy!

I am very sore today. Not surprising. I have been working hard.

I am in level three. I realized today that next year I will be the only returning student of that level. That is so sad. Everyone is graduating. I may be a bit alone my senior year.

Nutcracker Auditions on Friday.

15 days until my birthday. I will be 17. Crazy.

Ahh. Impossible opening. Finding Neverland. Lovely Music. Malcolm and Colleen are fighting as usual, but for some reason, it isn't really bugging me today because I am listening to such pretty music. I have been on the verge of murdering one of them for the last couple days. Either they are fighting more than usual or I am ready to go back to school. They are just so cruel to one another. I do not understand how they can handle it. I certainly can't.

Last night I was quite sad but I went and danced like mad in the backyard and felt much better.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissue. What a crazy but lovable movie.

I need to pack.

I miss Amelia. She is pretty hard to contact right now.

I am so excited for christmas!

I need to pack.

I hope I can be a good mentor leader. I will try really hard but I am just not that inclined towards huge amounts of conversation. I think I will be ok though. Sunny will be there to help me out. I suggested her for the team to Mrs. Stevens and she is letting her join. The only junior other than the leaders. I am so happy.

I can't wait to see Sunny and Esther and Allie! And everyone! MARK! Yay. Dancing!

I need to pack.

I will miss my family though. I have had a really good summer with them. We have had a lot of fun, swimming and playing badmitten and painting and painting and laying floor and painting. I have such a perfect family.

I need to pack.

12 Days until Interlochen. AHHHHH!!!! I am so out of shape. People will laugh. But that is ok because laughter spreads joy in the world and I do not mind inspiring happiness one bit.

Woah!! I just put a floor in! My room looks amazing! It is like a Gwinna/Safari/italian villa/peaceful paradise. I love it!! Yay!

I feel like writing poetry.

I am back from Boston.

Am really tired.

Learned a lot at summer program.

My arms have been too high for ages!

Am living in between two houses now.

Said hello to Tony and Kathleen. Amazing people!

Broke up with Paul. So much happier now!

Danced as a dead girl for a month. "Be a hoover!" "That was dodgy" "You all look like a wet weekend. Chug!"

Got to know Allie. Wonderful girl.

Harry Potter 6!!!!!!!!!

Big cities are interesting. Every time you go out it is an adventure. It is unavoidable.

It is handy living on a lake. One can swim so frequently!

Maximus!

Sometimes I wish I could be above it all. I try hard. Not to feel anything.